I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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