and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
