Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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