I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
