I didn't shave. On purpose
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
