I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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