My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
