Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
