exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
