He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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