We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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