So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's rum buckets o'clock
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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