we're blogging at a bar
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
