I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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