You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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