dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
