i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize