driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
