she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
