I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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