My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
