Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
