Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
