i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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