Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
