Can Purell be used as lube?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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