dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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