There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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