I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Do vagina's smell?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
