i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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