OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
