The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize