He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
