When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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