I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
