When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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