After last night, I could never be a politician.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
