they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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