is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
