So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
