It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
