i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
