ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize