sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
