I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
