I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
