One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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