He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
