does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
