If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
