trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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