so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You need Xanax blowdarts
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
