If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
