Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
