Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
