You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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