I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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