would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
