I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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